Let students know you are in control

In an earlier post, I discussed the importance of NOT losing your temper or becoming angry with your students. When you as the teacher are upset, or angry, these emotions convey a lack of control. In my experience, it is always best to maintain a classroom persona that is pleasant and friendly, but always in control. While you might be frustrated on the inside, it is much better to keep it there.

While the teacher must remain calm, a good classroom instructor must let students know he or she is in control. I would encourage teachers to be prepared to address any challenges to the teacher's authority. Often, we want to address these challenges to our authority head on, but this only leads to power struggles. Stay in the alpha position without an outright battle by asking questions. For instance, if a student is rude, or questions your competence, or undermines your authority, ask them one of the following questions: "Johnny, when you did this (whatever they did), how did you intend for me to feel?" or "What did you mean by that comment?" or "How did you think I would react when you did this?"

Always think through how students might respond to your question. If you are caught off guard by a student comment and aren't sure what to do then don't respond right away. Instead, use this delay tactic. "I'm am very concerned about what you said just now. I'm going to think about what is an appropriate response to that." This one has always worked great for me!!

Dealing with the difficult student: He who angers you conquers you

Do you have a student in your class that knows just how to push the right buttons make you feel angry? Maybe you felt a little like the guy in the picture? When that certain student is absent, do you secretly do a happy dance? We've all been there as teachers and educators. I have often thought, "If Chris (or supply your own name) wasn't in this class, then I could help the other students so much more!!!"

As a young teacher, these students would make me angry. I would get SO VERY MAD that they were acting up and causing so much trouble in the classroom. In fact, I would let it get personal. Instead of realizing I am the adult, the teacher, the one who should have a more clinical approach to addressing these behavior problems, I would raise my voice at the student: "If you don't sit down in your seat and shut your mouth, you're going to the principal's office!!!!!"

Over time, I realized this approach was ineffective and harmful. Consider the words of poet Elizabeth Kenney, "He who angers you conquers you." Remember, you want to change the behavior, you want to win! When we allow the student to make us angry, he or she wins. They are getting the attention, control, and power they desire. Furthermore, you are losing credibility with the rest of the class. When we are demonstrating anger in our classroom, we are showing the same lack of self-control that we are trying to help our students overcome.

Now, I'm not suggesting that you will never feel angry. But do your best to control these strong emotions. The difficult student needs to see that you are in control, that you are not going to react to his or her behaviors, but that you will respond logically to create the best learning environment for your students.

We don't argue

I believe it is very important NOT to argue with students. However, they can be very good at engaging teachers into arguments about just about everything. Here is some good advice someone once gave me about not arguing with your students. Just don't do it!

Let's say you catch a student cheating on a test and you call them on it. They say they weren't cheating (even though you caught them red-handed). You tell them you will have to give them a zero on the assignment, or whatever your normal discipline would be. They want to argue about it? Don't fall for it. Just repeat your observations, tell the student you will not argue, and move on.

"Johnny, I observed you looking off of Amanda's paper and your answers are all the same. I'm sorry you made this choice, but you will receive a zero on the quiz, and I will have to call your parents."

"I was not cheating," says the student. "I was looking over that way because the sun was shining through the window in my eyes. You are always picking on me. Suzy cheats all the time."

"Johnny, I clearly saw you looking off of Amanda's paper. I will have to give you a zero. I'm not going to argue with you about this. If you wish to discuss this further, see me after class."

Dealing with underhanded comments...

"Boy, did somebody wake up on the wrong side of the bed this morning?" This comment is just one of many wiseguy comments I have heard from my students. Sometimes they are harmless and the student is just showing they are really comfortable with me and feel they can be casual in their conversations. Still, I try to make it very clear to my students the line between respect and disrespect. If this type comment is from a student I know is not intending to be adveserial I would probably just ignore it. But, if this comment was from a student intent on showing his or her bad attitude I would stop what I was doing, walk over to the student, pause again for extra dramatic effect, and simply ask, "Exactly what did you mean by that comment?" Typically, the result is the student is backpedaling at this point, and you have established you as the teacher are clearly in control of the situation in a nonthreatening way. Here's what usually happens next: The student says "I really didn't mean anything by it," or "nevermind," or even "I'm sorry." I'm always prepared; however, for the student who might say "I meant you're in a terrible mood," or "you're acting like a real jerk today." To that I would simply remain calm and ask another question, "In that case, was your comment courteous and polite?" The student will say no, and I will remind them that all comments in class to students and teachers should be courteous and polite. I realize I am teaching more than communication arts, or math, or science, I am teaching them the acceptable behaviors for the classroom.