You don't know what I know

As a principal, I have to interview, or interrogate students all the time about different problems that happen in my building. Often, teachers also have to do the same thing to sort through a situation in the classroom. So how do you get a kid to tell you the truth and the whole truth? Well, there is no guaranteed formula. But, I do have a system I usually try to follow.

1. Earn their trust. First, I talk to the student about trust and respect. I ask them if I have ever done anything to disrespect them. Usually, they say no. I tell them I want to be their friend, and I tell them I respect them. Now, please realize that when I tell them I want to be their friend I am speaking their language. While I believe I should be friendly to students, my job does not call for me to be friends with students.

2. Convince them I will know if they are lying. I might say, "Now Johnny, I've been talking to several people about what happened before class. I need you to tell me the truth. You're at a disadvantage here because you don't know what I may know. It's very important that you tell me what happened." I try to make the student believe that I already know what happened.

3. Questions become more narrow. As I begin to ask what happened, I ask less threatening and more general questions. Then, as I believe I'm getting somewhere, I go for the questions I really want answered.