You don't know what I know

As a principal, I have to interview, or interrogate students all the time about different problems that happen in my building. Often, teachers also have to do the same thing to sort through a situation in the classroom. So how do you get a kid to tell you the truth and the whole truth? Well, there is no guaranteed formula. But, I do have a system I usually try to follow.

1. Earn their trust. First, I talk to the student about trust and respect. I ask them if I have ever done anything to disrespect them. Usually, they say no. I tell them I want to be their friend, and I tell them I respect them. Now, please realize that when I tell them I want to be their friend I am speaking their language. While I believe I should be friendly to students, my job does not call for me to be friends with students.

2. Convince them I will know if they are lying. I might say, "Now Johnny, I've been talking to several people about what happened before class. I need you to tell me the truth. You're at a disadvantage here because you don't know what I may know. It's very important that you tell me what happened." I try to make the student believe that I already know what happened.

3. Questions become more narrow. As I begin to ask what happened, I ask less threatening and more general questions. Then, as I believe I'm getting somewhere, I go for the questions I really want answered.

Caring about students prevents behavior problems

One of the things I regulary talk about with teachers is how important it is to maintain a good relationship with each student. More specifically, teachers need to make sure every student in class think that the teacher likes him or her. I specifically chose the word thinks in the previous sentence because we as educators are human. It is inevitable there will be students in your classes that rub you the wrong way and that your personalities just don't mesh well. However, it is still the teacher's responsibility to make sure every student believe they are liked. Moreover, author and speaker Todd Whitaker says, "In the great teacher's classroom, every student feels like they are the favorite."

I don't know how many times I have dealt with a student discipline issue, and the students says, "Well, she just doesn't like me." Then the student points to other students in the class who have done the same thing and haven't been punished. Making the student believe they are liked will help eliminate, or at least limit, this type of thinking. Now, the critic might argue that my advice is asking people to be sincere. My response: It is your job to make student's believe they are liked. And moreover, what kind of results will you get with students who believe you do not like them?

By the way, classroom management expert Marvin Marshall has a great website with more information about establishing a caring, positive system for motivating students to exhibit positive choices in the classroom.